2. DormVille

It's like pretty much a requirement that freshmen uncbetches live in Granville dorms. This is a painful, awkward, and often shameful part of any girls Carolina experience. If you're reading this as a future Tar Heel... good luck. If you're reading this as a dorm living sophomore then,... wait what?

There are four categories of campus housing that are applicable to normal UNC Freshmen and not normal Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors. South Campus, North Campus, Middle Campus (who knew that existed!), and Granville.**

1. South Campus
For the Carolina Freshman that believed their Orientation Leader (OL) who said it was "the best place to get a true Freshman experience." Yeah, bullshit. Some high functioning sociopath of a housing director some time in the past must have decided it was best to keep all the Freshmen in the shittier dorms so the loner Upperclassmen could have the more recently renovated North Campus dorms. Don't believe what they tell you. The only pro I can imagine to living on South Campus is being 5 minutes away from the Dean Dome (not that you'll have a good chance of getting tickets anyway). And walking that far will not help you keep off the Freshman 15. And it is neither easy, nor fun, nor normal to take a bus.

2. North Campus
For the Carolina Freshman that had an older brother who went to the school a few years ago and convinced her that living in Cobb or Manly was a good idea. Sure you'll be 5 minutes away from your Poli 100 lecture in Hamilton. But is that really worth not having an elevator, or a decent air conditioner, or an ELEVATOR! Not to mention the ever-present, ever-curious RA, who might just try to sneak a glimpse at your liquor stash as she's passing down the hallway.

3. Mid Campus
Like any kind of drug with a similar nickname (mid) middle campus is sub-par. It's not great, a little closer than South Campus so you'll get to class sooner but it still blows. The one positive is that it's close to the SRC, but no one really figures out how to work gym time into their sched until second semester, if then.

4. Granville

True Tar Heels live on South Campus and
take pics in cinder block hallways <3

There could be a whole post on the anomaly that is Granville... or what it used to be before it was University owned. Still, it is by far the best place to live as a Freshman. Let's be clear, it is not the fucking Palace, but it's the best of the worst. At some point in time housekeeping a stranger will pee in your garbage can. If you don't plan ahead you've got a 1 in 3 chance of getting stuck with a psycho for a roommate/suitemate. You're going to run into a previous hookup on the elevator at least once in the final minute of a walk of shame. The walk from Granville to the library on a Thursday night is made more painful by the blaring music, solo cup slamming, and across the lawn insults heard in Frat Court. But it sure as hell beats living on the other side of Columbia Street. It's pretty much the closest option to all the bars (except for maybe like Old East/West but I swear only like 6th year seniors and possibly tenured professors and their fams live there). And if you stn at a house in Frat Court or Little Frat Court you'll have a speedy shameful five minutes to get home. The best part: The Agora is guaranteed to be dank on any given day but most definitely the morning after a long night of pj.

So weigh your options carefully future Tar Heels. If you're in Granville, congratulations. If not, you need to know a few things.
1. Find a friend in granville. Quickly.
2. Never get a tarheel takeout account. you will gain 20 lbs then die.
3. Making friends with the P2P driver isn't cool
4. It's ok to feel ashamed when you are waiting at the bus stop
5. The walk to class will always feel longer when youre still drunk from last night



**It should be noted that these options don't really apply to the lucky bastards who have a fucking workout plan already built into their college sched, aka betchy student athletes, who choose to live close to the building/arena/field in which their team practices

1. Fuck The Carolina Way

The Carolina Way. Coined by Dean Smith, it is the embodiment of excellence, integrity, and heart. Not so easily defined is The Carolina Way, but it is understood by any and all who have attended this university.

Quite different is the technique of a uncbetch's interpretation of The Carolina Way. There's nothing a true uncbetch loves more than showing her Carolina pride. But what sets us apart from our fellow Tar Heels is how high the alcohol content is in our blood that will forever bleed Carolina Blue.

What is The UncBetch Carolina Way?  It's knowing that the Granville East elevator will always smell of urine and Natty Light. It's waking up on a Friday morning and having to Google map your location to get a ride home. It's trying to convince yourself not to go to Time Out, though it's a 4 minute stumble down from Bob's.

"I'm thirstier than a slutty freshman in the dean dome"

"ok let's drink piss from the old well"

It's trying to start your walk of shame from a frat house but not being able to find the front door. It's wearing your sunglasses in the back of Carroll because the fluorescent lights make your hangover unbearable. It's losing your phone, keys, id, and dignity in the DKE basement. It's learning to keep friends in different houses so you can go to as many fried lunches as possible.  It's getting sent to standards for drunk emailing the listserv. It's avoiding every older man or woman at bars for fear of the ALE. For betches at UNC-Chapel Hill, The Carolina Way is getting as fucked up as possible, as often as possible, and still knowing that no matter how ridiculous we are...... we're still better than any bulldykes girls at dook.